And man, am I hating today.
I know I shouldn’t. I know it’s Elul and precisely the time I should be turning inside to check myself before I wreck myself.
But there is this sorta-kinda friend, a high school classmate of my Bro-In-Law-To-Be, that makes me want to scream every time she mentions Judaism.
She is a Christian. An Assemblies of G-d Christian who writes wonderfully Christian Facebook posts like “Has never been more grateful for Jesus’ death & the LIFE that came when He rose again! Happy Easter!” and is thankful that it looks like she may have a pew buddy for worship.
That’s cute. That’s very Easter-y. It’s very Christian-y. I’m glad her faith means so much to her and that the holidays really speak to her and that community is important to her.
She interned at Hillel a few years back, however, and I wish she never had. I know it’s WRONG but I’m always really skeptical of Christians that want to learn more about Judaism. I’m horrible, I know, I’m always talking about how the Majority needs to check its privilege and try to understand what it’s like to be the Minority. But strangely, the Christians that do this never seem to learn where the line called “Approriate” is drawn.
Through the internship, she made lots of Jewish friends and knew she wanted to learn more.
So she signed up for the JCC’s Intro Course. What does she call this class? “My Jew class.” As in, arguing with Jews about the importance of holidays, and when proved incorrect, “apologizes” by saying “Oh, I must not remember my notes from Jew Class!”
Or, when wanting to hang out with the friends she made there, she’ll write them, “wanna be Jews on Friday?” meaning, can we go to Kabbalat Shabbat services?
Apparently she doesn’t know the history of this word. Or that epithets in general tend to be monosyllabic with harsh consonants because they are easier to spit out of your mouth in that certain condescending, patronizing, hateful tone.
And she goes to services so often that she wrote a D’var Torah. This bothers me. D’vrei Torah are typically given from the bimah. That, to me, is something only for Jews. If this were a Torah study class, and we’re all talking about what a parsha means to us, or what we learned from it, I have no problem with people of other faiths giving their views and gleanings. Maybe it’s my own sense of decency, but I would never agree to give the equivalent of the sermon, which, let’s face it, the D’vrei Torah have become on Friday nights, in someone else’s worship service. Give a lecture? Attend a class? Cool. Sermon giving? Not cool. In my not humble opinion.
This somewhat friend even once wrote “off to [services] with [A Dude] and {Another Friend], but won’t be allowed to sit with them 😦 my first segregated Shabbat! I do love being Jewish :)”
I do believe I flipped my mother fricken lid.
That fb post was too much for me. I responded snarkily, “Since when did you dunk in the mikvah?” and her response was “No mikvah for me… I def play for Team Jesus 🙂 still love a good Shabbat tho :)”.
My blood pressure was too high to respond further. You’re not a Jew. Saying you are, as though it’s an outfit that you can dress up with or take off at your convenience is not okay. It is not okay because of the relationship and history between your religion and mine. It is not okay because converts work their butts off to become Jewish and are still questioned about their authenticity years later. It’s not okay because it sounds disgustingly fetish-ish, as though we’re some entertainment and not you know, actually worshipping G-d and keeping and remembering our Sabbath.
She’s leaving the area for work travel in a few days. Her friend responded to the Facebook post announcing this, and once again, this morning, I read Sorta Kinda Friend’s response of “Let’s be Jews on Friday!” I am two seconds away from responding. And it won’t be pretty.
Dear Sorta Kinda Friend,
You are not a Jew. PLEASE stop saying you are. It belittles the ten years of work I did to go before a bet din and to enter a mikvah. Worship services aren’t entertainment. The title Jew isn’t some play thing. Going to midnight mass doesn’t make me Catholic any more than Kabbalat Shabbat makes you Jewish. Have some damn respect. This isn’t funny. It’s infuriating.
Xoxox,
Mikvah Bound